Book Review | No More Christian Nice Girl

Title: No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice–Instead of Good–Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends

Author: Paul Coughlin and Jennifer D. Degler

About the Book:

Tired of doing all you can for others while your relationships remain stuck in neutral–or headed in reverse? Paul Coughlin and psychologist Jennifer Degler show how being nice can harm you and drain the life out of your relationships. They explore the keys to fulfillment at home, work, church, and even in the bedroom. You’ll discover that emulating the real Jesus is the key to transforming from a Christian Nice Girl into an authentic, powerful woman of loving faith.

My Review:

All my friends tell me the same thing. “Vicki, you are too nice.” It’s been a complaint I have heard for many years. The title of this book caught my attention straight away and I knew I needed to read it. To all you super nice girls out there… “listen up!” This book is for you!

In the book there is a story line of Christian Nice Girl {CNG} Nicole and the journey she takes through following this book as well. It made it kind of interesting to not be “talked to” the whole time, but to have a fictional character throughout who you could follow and learn through her eyes some of the truths revealed along the way.

One big thing I discovered was that being nice is often a facade for hiding some kind of fear, self-doubt {the not-good-enough syndrome}and that in being this nice person, women sometimes can sometimes begin to have false niceness instead of true goodness. That was an eye opener for me.
Throughout the book the authors remind us that Jesus was not always such a “nice guy” himself. He cites many scriptures and occasions when Jesus had just had enough with people and being nice just would not cut it.

There are so many areas of life that are covered in this book~ friends/family, dating, marriage, sex, work. I think it is very thorough and thoughtful. I felt like many times the authors were talking right at me… there are great study questions at the end of each chapter which could be used in a small group study setting, but are also a great personal devotion type of activity to do yourself.
One thing is clear. God wants us to be good and treat people well, but he does not want us to be doormats and he does not want us to sacrifice what’s right just to make others happy. I learned a lot from this book and I am sure I will pick it up again real soon to remind myself to not fall into the niceness trap.

I’m sure I will continue to be nice, but I am also sure I will think twice about how nice I am being and the motivation behind my actions. Very interesting…

*I received no monetary compensation for this review. I received a sample of the product to try and provide an honest review. The opinions expressed are entirely my own and have not been influenced in any way.*

Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. Available at your favourite bookseller from Bethany House.


Vicki is a single woman living in Nova Scotia, Canada who loves to read, sing, cook for her friends and family and scrapbook. She loves to keep busy, hang out with her boyfriend and his cat and only sits still long enough to read and review books for "Simply Stacie."

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