Guest Posts

Jean Koning Visions Book Tour Guest Post

The following is a guest post from author of the new book “Visions” by Jean Koning. 

In January I had a nervous breakdown “how hip is that?!”

Thing is: I think the entire world is suffering from a diversity of nervous breakdowns. Don’t even get me started on the financial disaster we currently are focusing our hopes, fears, dreams and desires on. Because that is what we are doing nowadays. We have just barely survived eight years of disaster and tragedy one can call George W. Bush, and now we all sit down on our couches and allow ourselves to nervously breakdown.

In the case The Times vs. The People, Mr. Judge, may I present exhibit A: General Motors.

But seriously (which is the title of a Phil Collins record, I rediscovered while recovering from the breakdown and trust me, this record is not a remedy to anything!) where are we going to? I mean, General Motors? What impact will this have on a city like Detroit?

Does Chicxulub mean anything to you?

Chicxulub means Devil’s Hole and it is the name of a village in the Yucatan area in Mexico, where (theoretically of course) the crater is located that was formed by a meteor that lies on the basis of the Dinosaur Extinction.

Hypothetically you can say that GM is the meteor. And the people of Detroit are the Dinosaurs. And the landscape of Detroit in 2012 will be the new Chicxulub.

And this will be the ultimate nervous breakdown for this planet.

I mean, really people, how can a concern like GM loose that many billions of Dollars? How is that possible? Where the f*ck is that money? Where did it go to?

Of coarse it was a huge mistake of GM to keep up the production of the alcoholic cars. I mean, seriously, a car that needs that amount of fuel (like the latest additions to the race of the cars seems to need these days) is an alcoholic. And what did Mr. Bush do to the petrol industry? Yes! He bombed the world’s largest oil-field in existence.

I read somewhere that the T-Rex was suffering from a historical and hysterical form of nervous anxiety breakdown. That was like the biggest thing in Dino-culture. It was the latest fashion. It was the thing to do, after the Wall Bush Crash of 65,000,000 BC. The T-Rex voted for the Velociraptor to be the new president of the United States of Jurassia and things looked prosperous. But then a T-Rex named Sigmund Freud invented the nervous breakdown. And every Rex and his wife had a nervous breakdown. Because it was the latest thing. And you could get it for free.

But suddenly and quite unexpected, since everybody was couching and looking the other way a meteor hit the stage. And we all know what happened next. Yes, Chicxulub was formed.

In January I had a nervous breakdown. It was hip at the time. My psychiatrist says it was because I didn’t mourn the death of my brother-in-law correctly.

Personally I think it was because somewhere I read a headline screaming from the pages that the New York Times was dying.

How can this monument, this wonderful newspaper, be dying? How is it possible that the only newspaper left on this planet that actually has research journalism, is going to be a victim of a financial disaster?

I am devastated, really. This is a disaster for mankind. The end of the New York Times. It’s going to be the end of an era. The Dinosaur of all newspapers will be destroyed by a meteor the size of Australia. A meteor we call Financial Crisis.

First the New York Times, then Detroit and finally a cloud of dust will block the skin cancer-causing light of the sun for millions of years.

In January I had a nervous breakdown. I recovered partly in March. I think I will have a total relapse this July.